Peace Seeker: Christian Bullies

What an oxymoron, “Christian bully”.

But a majority of us can immediately nod our head and agree we have one of these (or multiple) in our lives.

I recently engaged in a discussion about car seats. A very, VERY hot topic. The question was whether to say something or let it go. A number of responses were positive, my opinion of “let other moms mom” received some pretty harsh judgement.

And it hurt. I won’t lie, it really hurt.

Here’s the things. I really don’t care where you stand on vaccines or car seats, potty training, organic or McDonald’s. I don’t. Do you care about your child’s well being? Do you love your child more than you live yourself ? Do you do your very best to raise them well, do the best job you can to care for their hearts and souls ?

I vaccinated my sons. My sons were forward facing at 1. I give them high quality vitamin/probiotic. I take them to the doctor. I punish them. I love them. I cherish them.

Let moms mom. Unless someone is checked out and not caring for their kids, drinking or using drugs, neglecting etc, don’t tell ’em they’re wrong.

You feel passionately about something? Chances are, they already know. And if they wanted your expert advice, they would have asked. Especially if you’re really good friends. If you aren’t, your advice is still unsolicited. Find a casual way to bring it up and share it. But don’t be mad if they still choose differently.

We aren’t made from cookie cutter molds. We are individuals, made beautifully in the very image of the God we are serving.

I cannot for the life of me imagine Jesus condoning the mom bullying I see happening.

There are other situations. Whether moms should work or not, lifestyle, clothes we should or should not wear …

I was raised by a good family. But I faced so much judgement. I went to a conservative school. I remember my covering style being judged. My dress material pattern, the pattern of my dress. There are literal disagreements over things THIS TRIVIAL. But to the opinionated ones, this is not trivial.

But you and I? We chuckle. This is crazy! We may say. I’m glad this isn’t our reality!

Okay. So stop making waves in your reality.

Here is an unpopular opinion:

You can do everything right and something “bad” can still happen.

God is in control, not us.

There’s something that makes me quake a bit. I’m a control freak, I need to be in control. But I’m not. I can’t. Because the guilt is crushing and heavy.

It is not my fault that Liam died. It is not my fault any of our other babies died. I cannot carry the weight of the guilt when I did blame myself. It drove me to a dark and soul crushing place.

There are times we are responsible. The words we say, they can cut deep. Those scars will remain forever.

When the painful stuff happens, I’m grateful. I’m so very grateful for the ones I can lean on and trust. I’m grateful for the Savior who meets me in the darkness and carries me out. The One who never leaves me, never forsakes me. The One who sees everything I do and loves me.

On this Good Friday, the day we are to pause and remember. Remember the price paid for our salvation, the painful and humiliating price He paid so we can call ourselves little Christs .. I wonder what He would say on these online mom groups, the ones where we use His name to defend being unkind or rude.

This Savior who felt nails in His hands. His feet. This Savior who wore a crown of thorns. This Jesus who died not because of a lie or a betrayal. He died for Truth. The Truth that He is the Savior. The only one we truly need. In good times. In bad times. May we strive to be like Him: loving without judgement. In real life. Online.

May we grow in this area. May the term Christian bully die with our repentance.

With much love,


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