There is a lot about my life that has not been pleasant or easy. And on the other hand, a lot has been amazing and fantastic. There are a few “I regret” moments, but mostly I have learned in life to take the mountains and valleys in stride.
The lows can get very low sometimes. I don’t want to trigger anyone, but can I say this: Being a survivor of sexual abuse can make life incredibly hard some days!
The highs are amazing. Seeing a positive sign on a pregnancy test, that was one of my favorite moments of joy. (No, not pregnant. Don’t even ask!) Working together to accomplish a goal, and not worrying about work or social media or the Joneses … The joyful moments are worth hanging on for.
In more recent years, I have learned to appreciate just listening to people. Not for the sake of answering or bossing or fixing, but listening and investing and genuinely caring about people.
Typically when we think of sharing, we think of social media. We share photos of our lives, quotes, articles, opinions, jokes, our businesses. Some roll their eyes when politics or religion is shared. Some roll their eyes at the complaining or the sales pitch for yet another magic at-home biz.
We share things with people because we care. Opinions about all sorts of things, and Facebook, Twitter, Instagram have all made sharing even easier.
I love to share photos of my kids, my husband and I, meals I have made. I love a good political debate (respectful, of course). I love being connected that way. I have my own at home biz, Plexus. (Some of you rolled your eyes. I am sorry. I am not using this post to promote it, though given my title I really could! Haha) I love to celebrate with you and sympathize, lend advice, or share tips. It is easy. It makes me feel connected on days where in person connecting just can’t happen for whatever reason.
There is a negative side. Online bullying has become a serious problem. Becoming a “keyboard warrior” is the new trend, and shaming/judging others is as easy as “tap tap tap” tapping on your keyboard.
In a time where Facebook has Marketplace for buying and selling, we also have a whole passel of people who do nothing but hassle, whine, and complain.
In a time where Facebook has Marketplace, and I can openly and honestly share about my struggle as a mom, a wife. Share openly about my views on things that legitimately matter, and encourage others. A place where I can post all day long about this, that, and the next thing. Except one thing.
I really struggle to just pause and give Him credit. He has held me and sustained me, even through all this last 6 or 7 months have held. ]
He could have stopped it. Any of it. All of it. He could have put His “hedge of protection” around me and prevented any or even, ALL of this pain!!!!
That’s sometimes what I think.
And He could have.
I wish He had never allowed certain sins.
And I don’t have an answer. That’s not the point of this post.
Did you catch what I did earlier?
Up top, I mentioned about taking things in stride. I am taking credit for getting through the tough grit of life.
Do you know how when you discover a mom hack or a kitchen hack or a life hack and you’re like mind blown and never, ever return to life without it??
Yea.. that’s me. with God.
We all have hurts we bear. We all have doubts and questions. We have loud voices disputing the Bible. There are hypocrites and sinners, disguised as followers of Christ. There are broken people, saved by grace, wondering what God’s plan is in the midst of their trial. There are broken people, seeking His face, asking for His forgiveness because they recognize they are incomplete without Him.
I am incomplete without Him. I am a sinner, saved by grace.
You are a sinner, incomplete without Him.
Life as a Christian is not a hot ticket, an E Z Pass to glory and wealth. You might pass Go, you might collect $200. You also might get hit by an airplane while crossing the street. Being a follower of Christ only makes me exempt from: 1) the consequences of my sin 2) despair when life goes sideways
Fear will still come knocking. Depression may still plague you. You still need to take medications and do your laundry.
That phrase will never get old. That phrase will always make my heart skip a beat.
I am a survivor of sexual sins. I am a survivor of a car accident I should have died in. I am a survivor of burying my child. Not by my strength, HIS.
My life has held deep, dark valleys. My life has held mountain top experiences. My heart holds a desire to know why all these things happened to me. But my heart also holds the desire to bring honor and glory to Him in each stage and experience.
I am grateful for the opportunity to care for you, to share with you. I am grateful for this life I have been gifted. And while I may sometimes be tempted to smile and murmur Thank You when someone compliments my strength, I want this to be my public testimony. A public declaration of sorts.
I cannot take credit for His power in my life. He has rescued me more times than I know, He has held me up and given me strength. He has forgiven me.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 ESV
He didn’t just give me strength and peace. He sacrificed His only Son, He allowed a way for me to come directly to Him in the thick of a life battle to ask for strength, wisdom. He asked His Son to take on the weight of every sin, in the world.
That is love.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
I never want to take a verse out of context, or misrepresent my Lord, but I believe that in this stuff. This gritty, tough, impossible stuff, He wants for us to come to Him and lean on Him. And that is hard to do, I get it. It is hard to trust someone who is not physically there, who you can see and physically lean on… IT IS HARD. He has never me down, not once. While His ways would not have been my choice sometimes, I also don’t know His plan, His will. And I don’t see the BIG picture that He does. But He is there, waiting for you to come to Him and trust Him with this life stuff you’re struggling to get through. I promise.
And now, I must close on the sharing. I do care, so much, for people. I hope this encourages you. I hope my caring and sharing touches you.
Email me if it does. You are loved, deeply.