Why Pinterest is not the Bane of Your Motherhood (And What Actually Is!)
How often do we hear our fellow mom (and likely, sometimes ourselves!) derogatorily referring to the “perfect Pinterest mom”, as if she is the bane of our existence, an idyllic picture to which we could never live up? This should not be the case, though, ladies! Pinterest is not the problem here. Pinterest is simply a neutral tool which can be wielded to actually enrich our lives if we allow it to be. The real problem here is that we have forgotten the truth of God’s Word and exchanged it for the “wisdom” of man. Here’s what I mean….
The Real Problems Here
- We have forgotten the gospel.
According to the truth and implications of the gospel, at the moment of salvation my sins are forgiven and removed, and the righteousness of Christ is now imputed to my account (Psalm 103:12, Isaiah 43:25, 2 Corinthians 5:21). This means that I no longer have to “prove” myself to anyone, not even God! And neither do you. If you are believing you have to live up to the “perfect” Pinterest picture of motherhood, then you are forgetting who you are in Christ. You don’t have to “live up” to anyone’s standards, the least of all being man’s. “Living up” to the standards of God is not even what leads to your salvation. It is 100% the grace of God, not works. It is a case of gospel amnesia to think that we have to be what we see on Pinterest in order to please God.
- We are suffering from a lack of time in the Word, which is resulting in a lack of theology.
It is easy to forget the full implications of the gospel when you’re not in the Word of God on a daily basis. Second Timothy 3:16-17 makes it clear that it is solely the Word of God which equips us for everyday life. If we are not in the Word, if we are not students of the Word, we are ill-equipped for the work of mothering. Not only that, but Ephesians 6:10-18 makes it clear that if we are not girded with truth, the gospel, salvation, faith, and the Word of God, we are unprotected, unprepared, and unguarded against the attacks of the enemy (which come in the form of lies every single day). It is absolutely imperative that we be in the Word. Otherwise, we will not know the truth that sets us free, we will not know right theology, and we will be ripe for the picking when it comes to cultural lies and expectations of what constitutes as a “good” mom and ideas about what “good” moms do.
- We have serious identity issues and are misunderstanding what is pleasing to God.
Sweet mama, when you are basing your worth, your value, your label as a “good” mom in what you make for dinner, whether or not your home is “Pinterest-perfect”, or on the fact that you carried out a Pinterest craft with your children to a T (or not – maybe it was a Pinterest flop!), you are suffering from a serious case of mistaken identity. Your identity is not based in what you do; it is all based on Whose you are. Your identity is not dependent on what you have or have not done, but on what Christ did on your behalf on that cross of Calvary. God is not pleased with you when you carry out a Pinterest project perfectly and displeased with you when you don’t. He is always pleased with you, His precious child, simply on the basis of who you are in Christ. His love for you has never been and will never be based on what you do (or don’t do!), but rather on His own grace and mercy (see Titus 3:4-7).
- We are suffering from a heart condition.
Pinterest is not the problem; our heart is. When viewed correctly, from a standpoint of a woman who knows who she is in Christ, who knows God is always looking on her through eyes of love, who knows her identity and acceptance is based on the firm and unwavering foundation of Christ alone, Pinterest can then become what it was always meant to be – a really fun tool used to enrich our lives, advance our knowledge, lead to fun memories, and beautify our homes. Sadly, however, this is not the case for many women (mamas, perhaps, in particular), which is precisely why we hear Pinterest and Pinterest-moms referred to in such derogatory ways. We are suffering from a heart condition, plain and simple. We are allowing our pride, selfishness, self-consciousness, people-pleasing, frailty, and other idols and struggles to get in the way of the truth of God’s Word. No, mama, Pinterest is not the problem here. Our hearts are.
- We are ignoring the true teachings of God’s Word as they pertain to motherhood and are instead becoming fixated on cultural expectations.
When was the last time you heard a Christian mama concerned with training up her children in the way that they should go, or contemplating the best ways she can love her little ones? It does happen, certainly, but how much more frequently we hear moms today concerned with how many Pinterest projects they have attempted, how said projects turned out, what other moms think of them, what they think of other moms, and how they are living up to cultural expectations of motherhood! As I pointed out in Lies Moms Believe: The Companion Bible Study, the world (and now even the church, as the mommy wars have seeped in!) hands to us a ten foot long list of the “should dos” of mothering, while the Lord never does. The long list of expectations in our culture and even in our churches is a far cry from the short, simple list of the responsibilities of a parent as handed down by God – things like training our children (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4) and loving them (Titus 2:4).
There is Hope!
There is always hope, mama, always the ability to be freed from the bondage of cultural expectations, the idol of Pinterest, and the bane of a heart condition that believes impressing others to be the ultimate goal in life. Through the gospel, the Lord has freed you from the need to prove yourself, to meet all the mothering expectations this world places on you, and to be able to implement (or not!) the fun ideas and projects on Pinterest with enjoyment and with the knowledge that how they turn out has no bearing on who you are in Christ, how He views you, or the state of your worth and value. Let go of the lies, mama, and allow the truth to set you free!
Bio:Rebekah Hargraves is a wife, mama of two littles, blogger, podcaster, and author whose passion is to edify, equip, and encourage women in their journey of Biblical womanhood, particularly with an emphasis on the gospel and its implications for everyday life. Rebekah’s first book, “Lies Moms Believe (And How the Gospel Refutes Them)” released last fall, and the “Lies Moms Believe” Companion Bible Study comes out March 30, 2018. You can find Rebekah on her website, Hargraves Home and Hearth, on Instagram, or on iTunes via her podcast.Instagram: @rebekahhargravesFacebook: Hargraves Home and HearthWebsite: Hargraves Home and HearthTwitter: @hhomeandhearth